Intimate Details with Dr. Tiff
A safe space for intimate conversations with some of the most dynamic and magnetic people you'll ever want to meet, Intimate Details with Dr. Tiff is like sitting down with your favorite bougie auntie, bestie, therapist. So grab yourself a drink and a nosh, pull up a chair and lean all the way in. We're going deep and it promises to be one helluva ride.
Hosted by: Dr. Tiffanie Davis Henry
Produced & Edited by: Rideia Wilson
Intimate Details with Dr. Tiff
Day 30: What It Really Means To "Becoming The ONE."
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Commitment can be a double-edged sword, especially when staying in unfulfilling relationships out of obligation. In today's episode, we explore the importance of aligning our actions with our words, setting boundaries, and creating meaningful change. Reflecting on whether our commitments are genuinely rooted or built on shaky grounds can open doors to healthier relationships.
As my personal journey of producing daily content draws to a close, the experience has brought immense fulfillment through connecting with a wider audience. I'm excited to invite you to continue this journey by Joining My Email List. This is the best way to stay connected and learn about upcoming launches including, "Becoming The ONE." Designed for those struggling in their romantic relationships or seeking personal growth, this intimate 12-week experience offers women the opportunity to learn how to call in the love they desire and deserve while focusing on their own growth and transformation. If you liked The ONE Within 30-Day Journaling Challenge, you'll absolutely LOVE Becoming The ONE. Sign up for my emails so you don't miss the launch, coming mid-March 2025.
About Our Host:
Intimate Details with Dr. Tiff is hosted by Dr. Tiffanie Davis Henry. Follow Dr. Tiff at @DrTiffanieTV on Instagram and learn more about upcoming programs, challenges and services at www.DrTiffanieHenry.com
For media inquiries, feel free to email at hello@drtiffanietv.com. If you're interested in supporting the podcast through sponsorship or wish to book your client to be featured on our program, email us at intimatedetailspod@gmail.com
All interviews are available for viewing on YouTube. Click the link below or tap HERE to WATCH EACH EPISODE! https://www.youtube.com/@DrTiffanieTV/podcasts
Hi there, this is Intimate Details with Dr Tiff. I'm Dr Tiff and this is Day 30. Day 30 of The ONE Within 30 Day Journaling Challenge. Cannot believe we made it this far. Cannot believe that I've given you a podcast episode every day for the past 30 days. Won't he do it? Okay, won't he do it?
Dr. Tiffanie Henry:Because you know, I was not, I think, probably until the last few days. The last few days this last week is when I said, finally, you know what I'm going to do this, which is what I said at the beginning. I figured that I would be at the end before I committed to doing a full 30 days, because it just seemed unfathomable to me. And um, but here we are and this goes to show you. You know, all you need is a little bit of faith, because that's all I had was a little bit of faith that I could do it. I knew that I wanted to do it. I knew that I thought it would be a good idea to do it, but I know me and I know, I know me and I wasn't completely convinced that I was going to be able to show up in this way each and every day, and certainly there were some things that I did along this journey. You guys know especially if you've been watching YouTube to get these episodes as opposed to just listening in your car you know that some days we batch record. Some days I had to record five in a row just to make sure that I got it all done and in, but you still got a different episode every day. You still got your episodes. So I am ecstatic that we made it this far and I'm super happy If, for some reason, you missed any episodes on this challenge that we have been doing. If this is the first time you're logging in and listening, welcome. But also when you've been, we have been doing, we've been rocking it out this whole month of January doing a 30 day journaling challenge. This challenge is for women who want to focus on their own growth and transformation but also want to improve their romantic relationships, and really the challenge has really been bringing up stuff across the board of our relationships not just our romantic relationships but our familial relationships, our friendships, our romantic relationships but our familial relationships, our friendships, our work relationships. A lot of the information that we have been able to uncover you can certainly apply to other areas of your life and other relationships other than the romantic one. So it has been quite the journey. It has been quite the journey.
Dr. Tiffanie Henry:I've heard from so many of you that you've uncovered some things, realized some things, come to terms with some things, admitted to yourself about some things and just realized how much of what has happened in your relationships is within your control. A lot of times when our relationships, when our relationships go poorly or they don't go as planned, we oftentimes think that those bad things happened to us, that someone did something to us without really taking the ownership that maybe we need. That. You know, maybe I brought something into this relationships. Perhaps it's not their fault that they're showing up in a relationship this way. Perhaps it's what I called in, perhaps I made it easy for this scenario to happen. Perhaps I brought some of my previous baggage in and that's why the relationship ended in the way that it did or lasted in the length of time that it lasted.
Dr. Tiffanie Henry:So you know, really, this process when I, when I work with someone in coaching and therapy, we I seek to uncover those things and that tends to take quite some time If you think about it. You know I'm working individually with someone and we have like a 45 minute window of me getting to know them, of us building trust with one another, of them feeling comfortable to diverge their story and really start to connect some of those dots that can take weeks, months, years. I have some clients that I've worked with for years. I think we have a great relationship, great rapport, great trust, but there are still things that I learn about them. There are still things that I'm learning about them, even though we've worked together for a long period of time. There are things that they're learning about them. There are still things that I'm learning about them, even though we've worked together for a long period of time. There are things that they're learning about themselves. So it takes a very long time.
Dr. Tiffanie Henry:This 30 day challenge is really meant for those of you who maybe don't have that kind of time right. In five minutes a day, I'm giving you some tools for self-exploration, self-reflection, for you to really dig down deep. Ideally, I'd love to work with each and every one of you, but that may not be in the cards right. This challenge is a way for you to start, to begin the process, to do some of the work, to peel back the layers, to make sense of things that don't make sense and hopefully, after finishing this challenge, to continue the work and even if not to continue it in a formal sense, but to at the very least, within your current relationships and future relationships, begin to recognize some of the patterns, some of the habits, some of the triggers, things that you're bringing with you into the relationship, that may be causing some of your past mistakes, so that we don't repeat it. So that we don't repeat it. I think that we all have had opportunities for growth within and throughout our relationships. Sometimes we don't take advantage of those opportunities, sometimes we stay exactly where we are. But by calling it all out in a way in which we've done over the past 30 days, my hope and my prayer is that you recognize it ahead of time, you see it as soon as it happens, you can call yourself on it and say now I have a history of doing this. Am I going to proceed in the way that I usually do, or am I going to try something different? And then that's where the magic happens. That's where the magic happens. That's where the magic happens.
Dr. Tiffanie Henry:So today, on day 30, it is time to go into our final journal and I've already talked seven minutes. This is wild, I haven't even gotten into the prompt yet, but, yeah, we need to get to the prompt. And I'm lingering because I'm like, oh, I'm going to miss you guys, but I'm right here, I ain't going nowhere, all right. So today, for day 30, it is a commitment to self, commitment to self. The prompt is write down a commitment statement to yourself. What are you committing to? How will you continue the journey of becoming the one? Write a commitment statement to yourself. How will you continue the journey of becoming the one? Now, yesterday I hinted at this and I think, I think it's time for me to really kind of go into the one. What the one is, what we're, um, what we're doing, what we're developing, what we're growing here is, as a community, all right, um and I think I I started this a few days ago, but I really mentioned it, I think, yesterday Um, my mission as a coach, as a relationship coach, is to help women learn how to attract and call in the love that they desire and deserve, while focusing on their own growth and transformation, something that I've done for years, over two decades, okay, with patients in my private practice and now in coaching, helping them to recognize the things that they have autonomy over.
Dr. Tiffanie Henry:It is so easy in relationship to identify things that are wrong with our partners, always so easy to identify the things that they need to change. But change is a choice and their change is their choice. Your change is your choice, okay, and too often in relationship we are so laser focused on insisting upon others to change that we don't recognize and often refuse to change ourselves. Much easier on us if they do the work, if they change, okay. But it's actually far better if we can accept them for who they are and then make whatever changes we need to make. That actually works in relationship so much better.
Dr. Tiffanie Henry:And so becoming the one means I'm no longer I'm going to chase after try and change, make them into, trick them into, convince them to be something that they are not. I'm going to accept and appreciate the people that walk into my life for exactly who they show me that they are, show me that they are. I'm going to make a decision about deciding whether or not I can continue a partnership with this person based on who they absolutely are, not who I want them to be, not who I know they can be, not who I can change them into being, but who they actually are. And if I find that you know what, this is not the type of person or the person that I want to be with, then guess who gets to make the change you do. You do, and so it is empowering us to recognize what it is we are asking of others and what maybe we could be asking of ourselves, doing the necessary work so that we are prepared for the person that is supposed to be in our lives, that we are the best version of ourselves, that we are going back, looking at our own mistakes, our triggers, our past, whatever that is. We're fixing those things, we're changing those things that are within our control and that we wish to change, that we wish were different, and in doing so, we're able to show up more authentically, more ourselves and really shine as our best selves. And if the person that we're partnered with can't appreciate that in us, then we will go where we need to go so that we can be appreciated. Because, I promise you, the right person for you will recognize each and every quality that you have, appreciate it, embrace it, encourage it and empower it. They will. They will love you for it. They will love you for it. It doesn't mean that you don't still have flaws and don't still have things to work on. But making a commitment to yourself to honor yourself in a way that forces you to do the hard things, challenges you to make changes so that your relationships can thrive so that your relationships can thrive and really emboldens you to embrace your authentic self, who you absolutely are, who you wish to be and who you will be no longer Okay. So today's prompt is all about making that commitment, making a commitment to yourself what you wish to commit to.
Dr. Tiffanie Henry:One of my favorite quotes and I use this a lot with couples and couples therapy. I don't know if people like it or hate it, but I love it. One of my favorite quotes. I have no idea who said this too, by the way, so I'm not trying to steal it, but I don't know who said it. So anonymous Favorite quote what you have right now is what you are committed to. What you have right now is what you are committed to. Think about that, marinate on that, meditate on that. What you have right now is what you are committed to.
Dr. Tiffanie Henry:A lot of times in our relationships, especially when I work with folks that are not happy in their relationship, many of them will tell me they've been unhappy for a very long time. How long has this problem been going on? Well, it's been going on for a couple of years. How long have you dealt with this particular issue? Well, I've been dealing with this on and off for the past. You know, couple months, years. This isn't new.
Dr. Tiffanie Henry:What you have is something that you committed to.
Dr. Tiffanie Henry:You said okay. It is not that you like it, I'm not saying that you like it. When I say you commit to something, I'm not saying that you like that thing. What I am saying is that by staying in that thing, by not making any changes, even if you don't like what's going on, you've made a commitment to continue to engage with what's going on. So what you have, you've made some sort of commitment to stand in it, to stay in it, to be in it. So if you want something different, if you want to have something different, the commitment has to change.
Dr. Tiffanie Henry:You have to say what you will and won't do and then actually do it. It's one thing and I think I mentioned this to you before me saying to a past boyfriend, right? Or even saying it to myself if this person cheats on me again, I'm out. If you lie to me again, never going to trust you, we're done. I can say that. What do my actions say, though? Because if I don't stand on the business of the words that I just said, but stand rather on well, we've been together for, you know, seven years. I've invested so much time, energy and money. If I don't, if I leave, you know it's going to be wreak havoc on our family. The kids are going to be so upset I'm breaking up a home. I'm doing, you know, I'm not honoring. I'm not honoring that commitment. If that commitment was bullshit, if it was based and laced on trash, who, what favor are you doing? Anybody, including yourself, this season.
Dr. Tiffanie Henry:And if you want to go back to the first, the first episode in this season, it's not the first day of the journal challenge, but the episode before that. I talked about 2024 being a year of completion and 2025 being a year of new beginnings. A30 is the beginning, the new beginning We've identified over the past 30 days. Everything. We've combed through it all. It's been challenging, it has been revealing, it has been enlightening, insightful, probably maddening, frustrating, upsetting, but I'm hoping that you'll leave feeling as though you know yourself better. You're better acquainted with the nuance that makes you you and you've identified a lot of your why. Why you show up in relationship in the way in which you do, why you seek out the type of partner that you do, why you stay in certain relationships like you do. You know yourself better, and now that you know yourself better, what commitments can you make to yourself moving forward?
Dr. Tiffanie Henry:Part of my challenge with doing these podcast episodes every day is because I had to commit. I had to commit to doing it and again, like I said before, I know me. I know me, right, it's hard enough doing a podcast every week. Right, it's hard enough doing a podcast every week, once a week, and here we are talking about 30 straight days. So what did I have to do? Right, and this is going back to you know, what I have right now is what I've committed to.
Dr. Tiffanie Henry:What did I have to do in order to make this commitment stick? I had to change. I had to change my way of doing things. I had to prioritize things a little bit differently. I had to front load, sometimes get some things done so that I could make sure I could get other things done. I batch recorded my content and podcasts, which I never did before doing weekly episodes.
Dr. Tiffanie Henry:I committed to showing up, even if I didn't feel like I looked my best or felt my best. If I knew I was going to have a big, you know 12 hour day on set, then okay, I'm going to need to record some episodes ahead of time because I know good and well, tomorrow I'm not going to feel like it. I had to stay up late at night to make sure that I got content done or emails put out or posts done and edited, things like that. I had to make some changes in order for this to work, in order to honor the commitment, the new commitment that I set to myself and to you guys, that if I committed to doing an episode every day, it wasn't you that had to change, because y'all gonna be here. Some of you may listen to the episode, some of you may not, some of you gonna skip a day, whatever. But if I made that commitment, I had to change if I was going to be able to honor it. And that is what you have to do at this point going forward for the one within. This is about the one within. It is about you. It is about becoming the one, rather than looking for and searching for the one. We are becoming the one.
Dr. Tiffanie Henry:Now, before I go, I do want to share a couple things. Today's day 30. A couple of things. Today's day 30. It's just been. It's been an amazing ride to do this with you, to hear the feedback, to get, to be able to help you gain this type of clarity.
Dr. Tiffanie Henry:I've always said, even when I started my psychotherapy practice and started doing more work on television, one of the reasons why I like doing television is because I get to touch more people. I'm not sitting, you know, in a box in an office and just talking to one person and just having that same conversation over and over again. I get to work with different people and this platform being able to offer this challenge via Teachable, being able to provide this content to you guys has been a humongous blessing to me, because it does fulfill that, that part of me that wants to work outside of the office, that wants to work with more people, that wants to help more people. I know that the work that I do is very much needed. I believe in it and I believe that it can be accessible to more people than just those that are in my immediate community, and that's why I want to offer it.
Dr. Tiffanie Henry:I do know that you all have choices on where and from whom you get your content. That for some people, I am not their cup of tea, I'm okay with that, and I also know that when you are trying to figure things out, you do want to. You put in the time and the energy to search for someone that you feel like you can connect with, that you feel like gets you, that you feel like has been where you've been or at least has been experience working with similar scenarios, and I hope that you feel that connection here. If you don't, it's okay. We're not going to force it. But if you do, I would love to encourage you to stick around the 30 day journaling challenge. The one within might be over, but that does not mean that we no longer do the work together. Okay, so there are multiple ways in which you can connect with me. If you are already a part of the one within 30 day journaling challenge, you're already on my email list, so that is fantastic.
Dr. Tiffanie Henry:If, for some reason, you are not on my email list, I'm going to encourage you to go to drtiffanyhenrycom. Go to the bottom of the page. Sign up for the email. I'll also put a link to the, a direct link to the email list, in the show notes and that way, when new programs, new challenges come up, you'll be able to just jump right in and you'll you'll know. You'll probably know before the podcast knows. You'll be able to just jump right in and you'll you'll know. You'll probably know before the podcast knows. You'll know before Instagram, because that's usually the first place that I'm going to announce it within the community. So I'd love to invite you to be a part of the community just by doing that. That's a free signup, okay, it doesn't cost you a thing to get the information first. Right? I also want to encourage you. Follow me over on Instagram at Dr Tiffany TV. Now on Instagram you're going to see a lot of reposts from podcasts. You're going to get Mantra Monday. Every Monday You're going to be notified of new programs and services that are coming out.
Dr. Tiffanie Henry:If you DM me I'm going to say this because y'all know how Instagram is If we are not following one another, I may not see your DM for weeks. If I haven't first initiated contact with you or you haven't made a contact with me in the comments or something like that, sometimes the DM will go to that dark, dark place, the hidden requests, and I may not see them. Okay, please understand that if I haven't seen them, if I haven't commented, and you DM to me and we are not friends that could be why sometimes it just takes making a comment on a post like, hey, I love this, this is great. I want to DM you, or I just DM'd you. That prompts me to go look at it. So please do that. Okay, that is a way to stay in touch. I also want to tell you about a few programs that I do have coming up in the coming weeks that I want you to know about. So this is the end of January 2025.
Dr. Tiffanie Henry:And in February it will likely come out prior to Valentine's Day. It is a seven day challenge. This was 30 days and, quite frankly, a lot, but I enjoyed every minute. But there were some folks that didn't participate in the 30 day because it was 30 days and they felt like it was going to take a lot, a lot of their time when only took five minutes a day boo, but whatever, 30 day challenge was a lot. It is a lot, okay.
Dr. Tiffanie Henry:So in February, I am going to launch Love Lab. I felt like it was appropriate. I started to launch Love Lab back in December, but I just felt like you know what February is right there and it's Valentine's month and love month, so let's do Love Lab then. So Love Lab, this is for women again. Really anybody can do it, but you know my services are targeted more so towards women.
Dr. Tiffanie Henry:Love Lab is all about loving yourself. So this is a self-love challenge. All right, so you don't have to be booed up, you ain't got to be married, you don't have to be with anybody. You can certainly find, but this challenge really is all about how you love on yourself, and it is a seven day challenge and it is very similar to our, the one within the 30 day journaling challenge, except you're not journaling, you're loving on yourself. You're finding opportunities to be good to yourself, and I'm giving you the suggestions each and every day, something for you to do. So if you're interested in that, I will also. I say, sign up for the email, because I don't know if I have the landing page up for that yet. If I have the landing, if I have the landing page already done, which I might actually, if I do, I'll post it in the show notes If I don't sign up for the email list, and you'll be notified when the when it opens, and it will likely open sometime next week. So that's Love Lab, all right. So what you will also see, what you will also see in the coming weeks I'm hoping to have this launched by Valentine's Day is Become the One, become the One is my 12 week signature program that should be launching around about Valentine's Day and that is the big shebang.
Dr. Tiffanie Henry:That is my signature program 12 weeks of working together in a group, cohort, face to face. So in this, in this challenge right, it's self paced, you guys do it. Take it whenever you take it. You know, catch up when you need to catch up. The the becoming the one is not that there are some self-paced components to it, but we're doing live interaction where you can ask your personal relationship questions and get answers and coaching for those. You're gonna be provided exclusive content that is not anywhere else. You will get those nuggets from me, specific strategy from me on how to cultivate the love that you desire and deserve, everything that you need.
Dr. Tiffanie Henry:I'm very excited about this program. It is going to cost. There is a ticket attached to this program, but again, it is a 12 week program. Over the course of the 12 weeks it absolutely comes out cheaper than doing sessions with me, coaching sessions with me, for 12 weeks. But again, it is a group cohort. I am probably going to limit the number of participants in the program, which is again another reason why I want you to sign up for the emails in the program, which is again another reason why I want you to sign up for the emails if this is something that you think you might be interested in. Because this is the launch of the program, I want to make sure that the environment stays intimate and that we can provide everything that I would like to provide to everyone, which means that we'll have a smaller group especially for this, for this initial launch. So I w I do want to make sure that it is a small number. I don't think I'm going to accept more than 10 people to the first um iteration of the program. Um may go up to 15, but I'm thinking 10, somewhere around 10, is probably going to be the sweet spot.
Dr. Tiffanie Henry:I think that if you are someone who is either in a relationship, currently not happy in that relationship and haven't been happy for a while, or if you were someone who has had a series of relationships not going so well or not ending in the way that you wanted them to, or not being able to find your person, or just finding it difficult in general to, uh, to be happy in relationships. This program is most definitely for you. It's most definitely for you because I'm going to walk you through it all. I'm walking you through every element, every aspect of things that may have gone wrong, and even things that will go right, but how to make the right happen more often, how to pick better companions for yourself, how to advocate for yourself, how to set better boundaries, how to how to fall in love properly. We also go over some of the more intimate stuff, sexual stuff that may have, you know, caused some mishaps in your relationship. So, compatibility, all of that kind of stuff. We're going over it all. We're going over it all, and so, if this is of interest to you, definitely make sure that you are on the list for emails, because once it comes out, I will definitely be doing a lot of blasting, a lot of talking about it on Instagram, on Facebook, on podcasts and, like I said, the first group. I want to keep it small because I want to make sure that we get it right and, yeah, so, once it goes out, if it's something that you're interested in, you know, let me know, and me, I'm probably going to set up some discovery calls as well for that, so that you guys have an opportunity to talk it through, because it's 12 weeks of your life. It's going to be a commitment. It'll be a commitment like we talked about today. What are you committing? I want you to feel good about the commitment, not the commitment that you're making to me, but the commitment that you're making to and for yourself. This is about your growth, your transformation, and it is an investment in your future relationships, personal and romantic. Okay, so look out for Becoming the One. I'm so excited about it.
Dr. Tiffanie Henry:I've really and I'll probably talk about this, you know, maybe in the next podcast but like I've really struggled with how best to offer, and that's probably one of the things that has kind of hemmed me up in terms of like and really delayed the program, is that I'm trying to figure out how best to offer. I've done, you know, online courses and programs before, where you know it was just a live meetup every week. I've done the self-paced course, where you know it was just a live meetup every week. I've done the self-paced course, where you know they give you a whole bunch of pre-recorded lessons and you go through it at your own pace. There's value in both I love. I love the different formats and I think that because of that you will have elements of both of those in this program.
Dr. Tiffanie Henry:I'm leaning more towards doing it live, which will have its own hiccups and challenges, I'm sure, but I do feel like doing the program. The majority of it that I can live will lend to a better experience for the community, because I feel like you can listen to something all day or, you know, listen in your car, have the pre-recorded information. But I think that, especially when you are paying a certain amount of money for a course, you want your individual questions answered. You want to know next steps based on context, based on your situation, and so becoming the one is where I can offer that to you. And I also love that we'll be able to do this in a community, because sometimes and I experienced this in my own business, coaching sometimes I don't even know what to ask or that I even had that question until I hear someone else ask it.
Dr. Tiffanie Henry:So community for me is very important and that's why I want to do this program in a community, because I feel like we learn so much from other people and their growth and their transformation. We learn what's possible, we learn what mistakes not to make, we learn new strategies, what's working, what's not. We get great ideas and we can also workshop it. We can figure out like, okay, if this didn't work, let's do this, let's do this, let's try this. We're able to do that together and in community and I love that. So I finally let it out. I finally let it out Becoming. The one is coming and you'll probably hear about it. Mid-february is when you will be able to sign up for it. It will launch probably mid beginning to mid-March. I think it's going to be beginning of March, but it might be mid March, we'll see. Okay, so those are things to look out for um and things to sign up for um to continue, to stay connected, um continue.
Dr. Tiffanie Henry:Thank you so much, guys, for hanging in here with me. I know for some of you you may not have been interested in doing journaling for 30 days. You might just enjoy the podcast, but this wasn't necessarily your thing. Thank you for thugging it out with me. Anyway, I appreciate it. Thank you for sharing the content and if you know somebody, now that you've gotten to the end, right Now that you've gotten to the end if you know somebody that would benefit from doing this challenge, they can do it on their own right.
Dr. Tiffanie Henry:They may not have signed up for the One Within and gotten on the Teachable portal, but each and every one of these episodes is on the podcast Intimate Details with Dr Tiff. They can go to wherever they listen to podcasts, go back to day one and start there if that's what they would like to do, and they could do it daily and pace it themselves. They can also go over to YouTube. You can go to YouTube and start there. I created a whole playlist specifically for the one within 30 day journaling challenge so you can go there and get each and every episode in order and do it. So there's still an opportunity for those of you who did not sign up for the challenge to go ahead and finish and do the work.
Dr. Tiffanie Henry:But for those of you that have already done it, I really, really appreciate you sticking with me for investing in yourself, investing this time, this energy, investing in making yourself better and getting to know yourself better and becoming the one that someone else is looking for. I love that for you. I love that for you. So, again, the journal prompt for today, day 30, commitment to self. Write a commitment statement to yourself. How will you continue the journey of becoming the one? All right, day 30. I love you, guys, and I'm so incredibly thankful that you've allowed me to partner with you in this transformational journey. Until next time, you'll get a podcast episode from me very, very soon, maybe even tomorrow. All right, I'll talk to you later. Bye.
