Intimate Details with Dr. Tiff
A safe space for intimate conversations with some of the most dynamic and magnetic people you'll ever want to meet, Intimate Details with Dr. Tiff is like sitting down with your favorite bougie auntie, bestie, therapist. So grab yourself a drink and a nosh, pull up a chair and lean all the way in. We're going deep and it promises to be one helluva ride.
Hosted by: Dr. Tiffanie Davis Henry
Produced & Edited by: Rideia Wilson
Intimate Details with Dr. Tiff
Day 25 of TOW: How Identifying Trust Issues Can Strengthen the Foundation of Your Relationships
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Is the foundation of your relationship built on shaky ground? Today on Intimate Details with Dr. Tiff, we’re confronting Trust Issues as we continue the journey on Day 25 of The ONE Within 30-Day Journaling Challenge.
This episode isn't just about identifying these issues but understanding how they have woven into the fabric of your life and the steps you can take to mend these vital connections. As you listen, consider how these dynamics have influenced your life and what you can do to foster healthier connections.
About Our Host:
Intimate Details with Dr. Tiff is hosted by Dr. Tiffanie Davis Henry. Follow Dr. Tiff at @DrTiffanieTV on Instagram and learn more about upcoming programs, challenges and services at www.DrTiffanieHenry.com
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Hi, there it's Dr Tiff, host of Intimate Details with Dr Tiff, and we're at day 25 of the One Within 30-Day Journaling Challenge. Can you believe it? 25 days of doing a podcast? I would never in a million years have thought that I would have done this All these days. It's wild, but here we are and on the 25th day we're bringing it.
Speaker 1:Many of yesterday was such an easy, breezy day. It was a happy day, you guys know. I talked all about my little sleep number bed and my favorite place to be the beach and the ocean with a drink in my hand, and I'm hoping that you guys I hope you guys will you share with me what your happy place is? I'm curious and nosy and I might want to add another happy place to my list. So, by sharing sharing is caring you can share with me one of two ways you can share on. If you go to the show notes of the podcast, uh, there is a little link at the top that says send me a text. You could just send me a text. Um, it won't show your number. Um, I won't be texting you back and forth, so please don't think I'm about to spam you or anything like that. Um, it comes through, actually the podcasting platform, um, but it lets me know that you've listened to the episode and lets me know that, like you want to share something with me, so let me know what's your happy place, tell, tell me, I want to know, cause we might meet each other there one day, okay, so tell me your happy place. Um, you can also, if you are officially a part of the challenge, you can go into the teachable portal and go underneath the journal prompt and just share. Share what you have learned, share your happy place, share feedback. Oh, one thing one of my, one of our students in the challenge. Thank you so much to her. She knows who she is because I've already thanked her in person. But she messaged me a few days ago and said hey, there's not a downloadable link on a couple of the days. I can pull up the journal prompt, but I can't download it, and so I was able to go back in and fix those. So if you experienced difficulty downloading a few days, you can always message me and let me know, because that's something that I can very easily fix, and so thank you to her for letting us know. She is definitely the one. Okay, she is definitely the one. So thank you so much. All right, so let's get started Day 25. This one's going to be a little bit tougher. You guys had it easy yesterday, and so I hope you took advantage of it.
Speaker 1:Today we're going to be talking about trust issues, which I know nobody in the Becoming the One cohort none of us have trust issues, but it is something that does go around, so I wanted to make sure that we talked about it Trust issues. What trust issues are you dealing with? How have these issues impacted your most recent relationship and what do you need to help work through these issues? What trust issues are you dealing with? How have these issues impacted your most recent relationship and what do you need to help work through these issues? As you can imagine, trust issues are huge. In terms of the work that I do. Trust is a very big thing. You don't have relationships without trust. You don't have like relationships period right From a parent to child.
Speaker 1:Our children trust that one of these grown people are gonna come home and make some dinner. If not make dinner, they're gonna provide dinner. There's gonna be food on the table that I don't have to. I don't have to do anything to get right. They trust that we are going to provide food, shelter, clothing, you know, lights, heat those things they're trusting.
Speaker 1:My kid does not think about if the water, if she turns the faucet, that the water is going to come out. She doesn't think about the fact that if she opens the refrigerator there's absolutely going to be not just food some of her faves in there, right. She doesn't think about I know my mom or dad needs to get me to school. She doesn't think about whether there's gas in the car, that the tires have been rotated and aligned. Like there are things that she trusts that are going to be provided to her because we are her parents and we just handle those things. Right. But what if? What if trust was broken one day? What if one day she opened the refrigerator and nothing was in there, went into the pantry, could not find her snacks, you know, got up, went to go take a bath, turned on the water and nothing came out. Got ready to wipe her behind and no toilet paper was in the house. Like, she trusts us to handle certain things so she doesn't have to think about it. But when we drop the ball, that's when trust can be broken. Now, obviously we would hope there would be some grace there, right, that she wouldn't be like excuse me, toilet paper. What were you thinking? Here's another example On our jobs.
Speaker 1:We trust that if we go to work and do the work, that every two weeks a check will magically appear in our bank account. That is correct. We hope that that check is correct, but we anticipate that, because we've done this work, it's a trade-off. It's a trade-off. You trust me to come to work every day and do a job. I trust that in return for that job being done, you will provide me with coins. Okay, and let's say, one day you don't get paid on time. Problem, major problem. I've worked at a job one time where they well, I've worked at several jobs. You guys know that, in addition to being to working in coaching and therapist, I'm also an intimacy coordinator and sometimes my check is wrong. I've worked on sets where I did not get paid the right amount or didn't get paid Like payroll was acting funny and didn't get the checks out, not just to me but to many people, like that's happened before, and it makes you not trust the people that are supposed to be providing you. It makes you not trust your employer. It makes you not trust that you are going to get paid. You know if you don't get paid and you're supposed to get paid, it makes you not trust the person that's supposed to be paying you. So, because it is a trade-off, you do the work, you expect to get paid right.
Speaker 1:In relationship this happens all the time where we think that we've put in certain things, we're supposed to get certain things back in return. But as humans we are flawed. We make mistakes, we drop balls and sometimes trust is the ball that is dropped. And sometimes we trust people with things. We trust people with you know schedules, with events to show up for us to do things, for us to keep secrets, to hold our heart in a way that shows that they care, that they love, that they have concern. And sometimes that trust could be misguided. Maybe we're duped into trusting someone that maybe we shouldn't have, or maybe we trusted blindly and too soon when that person hadn't earned our trust. That's all possible. So I want you to think about the prompt today.
Speaker 1:What trust issues are you dealing with? Think about, either in this current relationship or in the past, if there have been instances where you put your trust into someone, trusted them to do something for you and they did not meet your expectation of trust. They did not deliver in a way in which made you feel like you could trust them again, with the same thing going forward, made you feel like you could trust them again, with the same thing going forward. What trust issues are you dealing with, and have these issues impacted your most recent relationships? How have they impacted your relationship? Many of the times when we do have trust issues, we say never again, I won't, I'm going, I'm going to make that mistake again, I ain't gonna let you do it twice. Or maybe you're not even in the relationship with a person anymore and you say because my trust was broken in this way in a previous relationship, I'll never give anyone the opportunity to do that again, and so it's a part of yourself that is closed off that they will never get to.
Speaker 1:A few days ago, we talked about authenticity and showing up authentically in our relationships, and having your trust broken and destroyed is one way. Sometimes that's the cause of us not showing up authentically in relationship. It's because our heart's been broken, our trust has been demolished before, and so we don't allow ourselves to show up as authentically because our authenticity was taken for granted and we weren't able to trust someone else with it, and we assume that we can't trust the person in front of us with it, which may or may not be true, but that's what we do. That's what we do. So how have these trust issues impacted your most recent relationship? I want you to think about that. And then, what do you need to help work through these issues? Is it merely confronting the broken trust, the person that did that to you? Is it like I got some serious, deep-seated generational trust issues? I need to have my butt on somebody's couch, go to therapy, work through it, take some meds? What do you feel like you need to do in order to deal with work through and not allow trust issues to negatively impact your relationships going forward? This is a deep one. You guys are going to have to think about this, okay, but I know you can do it. You've done a lot already. We're at day 25. You guys got this. I believe in you.
Speaker 1:Take your time with this prompt. It may take you a little bit more than five minutes to think through it and write it all out, but and it may frustrate you, may frustrate you you may get to the first part about the trust issues and identifying them and being like that's enough for me for right now and that's going to be just fine. Let it be enough in this moment. Come back to it though. Finish it. Gotta finish what you start. All right, I love you guys 25. We've got five more days to go. Can you believe it? Only five days. We made it this far. I'm so proud of you guys. All right, I'll see you tomorrow. Bye.
