Intimate Details with Dr. Tiff
A safe space for intimate conversations with some of the most dynamic and magnetic people you'll ever want to meet, Intimate Details with Dr. Tiff is like sitting down with your favorite bougie auntie, bestie, therapist. So grab yourself a drink and a nosh, pull up a chair and lean all the way in. We're going deep and it promises to be one helluva ride.
Hosted by: Dr. Tiffanie Davis Henry
Produced & Edited by: Rideia Wilson
Intimate Details with Dr. Tiff
Day 13 of TOW: You Gotta Let It Go!
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Have you ever considered how past hurts might be silently sabotaging your relationships? Today is Day 13 of The ONE Within 30-Day Journaling Challenge and we're set to uncover the impact of unresolved pain on our present connections. Discover the transformative power of letting go and learn how releasing emotional baggage can pave the way for more authentic and vulnerable relationships.
About Our Host:
Intimate Details with Dr. Tiff is hosted by Dr. Tiffanie Davis Henry. Follow Dr. Tiff at @DrTiffanieTV on Instagram and learn more about upcoming programs, challenges and services at www.DrTiffanieHenry.com
For media inquiries, feel free to email at hello@drtiffanietv.com. If you're interested in supporting the podcast through sponsorship or wish to book your client to be featured on our program, email us at intimatedetailspod@gmail.com
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Hello and welcome to Intimate Details with Dr Tiff. I am your host, Dr. Tiffanie Davis Henry
Dr. Tiffanie Henry:, and today is Day 13 of The ONE Within 30-Day Journaling Challenge. I'm almost halfway there. I'm almost halfway there. I have to keep saying that to myself because I said at the beginning of this I did not know if I was going to do an episode every day. Yet here I am. This is my 14th day straight of giving you guys a podcast episode, which, in my history of podcasting, I have not done that. I never thought that I would do that or that I wanted to do that. But here we are. We are on this journey together. Now, once we finish this challenge, honey, do not expect to hear my voice every day. It won't happen, but as we are on this challenge, I'm attempting this. Still haven't committed. I'll probably be on Day 29 of this journey, giving you episodes every day and still being like nah, I don't know if I'm going to show up tomorrow. I might not, because I haven't fully committed to the whole 30 days. But you know what? We're on Day 13. We're trying, scratching and surviving. I hope you guys had a wonderful weekend.
Dr. Tiffanie Henry:It is Monday, January 13th, and I'm just glad to be here, glad to be here, glad to be in the number. Someone said to me the other day that I hadn't seen in a while. I was like, oh my gosh, it's good. And I shared this with a client the other day too. I said, oh my gosh, it's so good to see you. He was like I would rather be seen than viewed and I felt that, okay, I would rather be seen than viewed. Amen, amen. So happy Monday. I am so excited to see you and I'm excited for you to see me and not be viewing me, if you know it. Thank you for thugging it out, for hanging in there, for doing the work, doing this challenge. We are on day 13.
Dr. Tiffanie Henry:This weekend, hopefully, we took a little bit of the load off. I know day 11 was a bit much. Yesterday was all about self-love and so hopefully you enjoyed that exercise and really I'm hoping, hoping, hoping and praying that you guys were able to really love on yourselves, pour into yourselves, affirm yourselves and really feel good about how you're showing up in this process and in life. I know, I know, because you signed up for this, that you are strong, intelligent, badass women who want so much to do better in your own lives in the lives of others, and you're taking this time to invest in yourselves. I applaud you for that. I hope that you know how much of a badass you are and how intelligent you are and how great you are. I hope that that is affirmed, as you can affirm that for yourselves, and if you can't, let me do it for you. Okay, let me tell you, sis, you're crushing it out here. You're doing a great job. I'm so proud of you. This is amazing what you are doing. You have committed to investing in yourself, your own growth and your own transformation, and I am so proud of you. I'm so proud of you.
Dr. Tiffanie Henry:All right, let's go to day 13. Now I say all that to butter you up, because day 13 about to bring it. Okay, I'm about to give you the business. Day 13 is about letting go. Letting go and this is the easiest thing for me to say and the hardest thing to do Okay, letting go.
Dr. Tiffanie Henry:So today we are writing from this prompt what past hurts are you holding on to that impact your current or most recent relationships? What past hurts are you holding on to that impact your current or most recent relationships? Then write about how you can start letting it go. Write about how you can start releasing it and letting it go.
Dr. Tiffanie Henry:This was hard and you know I have something for you. I have something for you. I think I'm going to add meditation here. I think I want to do a meditation or offer that to you Actually, not here, but somewhere else. I'll do it somewhere else.
Dr. Tiffanie Henry:What past hurts are you holding on to?
Dr. Tiffanie Henry:That impact your current or most recent relationships? Write about how you can start letting it go. So what I want you to do most of you are here because you want to think about how you show up for yourself, but also in relationships, and one of the things that I know that we have a tendency to do is, if we've been hurt, we can sometimes carry that hurt around with us in our current relationships, in our past relationships, most recent relationships carry hurt from the current relationship through its entirety. We can carry hurt from others, that baggage that we bring into relationships. We can carry hurt from others into our relationships and that hurt can cripple the way in which we proceed in our relationships If we hold on to it to the point where we are not present in the relationship, where we are not holding ourselves accountable for what we bring into the relationship versus what another person has done.
Dr. Tiffanie Henry:Now, someone can do something in a relationship that reminds you of what someone else did, but that doesn't mean that they did it. Sometimes we show up in relationship. Here's a different example. Sometimes we show up in relationship and, before the person has an opportunity to hurt us, we act as if they did, because we know what it was like to feel that and we want to avoid feeling that again and we want to cut it off at the past. We don't want to give someone the opportunity to hurt us.
Dr. Tiffanie Henry:That creates a wall that is very hard to chip away at. It makes it very hard to get close to you. It makes it very hard to create an emotional cushion and vulnerability and sense of openness, sense of connectedness when we're holding onto things from past relationships, especially if it's something that the person that you're currently in a relationship with had nothing to do with and didn't even do the thing, but you're acting as if they're going to, even if they haven't already. This is what for in my experience with couples over the last 20 plus years, this is one of the things not letting go of past hurts. That is one thing. That is, that has a tendency to divide relationships, to cause friction in relationships, to cause, to kind of breed, a lack of closeness and connectedness in your relationships.
Dr. Tiffanie Henry:If you want to get closer, if you want to move closer in your relationships, you have to be able, you have to be willing to address some of the past hurts that you've had, whether it's with that current person or in previous relationships. You have to be able to address how that person might have hurt you, the intention behind that hurt, whether it that person might have hurt you, the intention behind that hurt, whether it because some people can hurt you and not be intending to hurt you, it just could be a byproduct of what happened, that was not their intention. And then some people can very much intentionally inflict pain, hurt, anguish on you. And so, understanding what the hurt was, what the intention of that hurt was, the acknowledgement of the hurt, letting the person know hey, this is how I felt, because here's another thing and another thing and another thing. Another thing is sometimes we are hurt in relationships and we never articulate that this thing hurt us, we just hold on to it, and a lot of times we feel upset with a person that they haven't shown remorse, that they haven't apologized, that they haven't addressed the need or the hurt or the anger or the pain or whatever that was inflicted, and sometimes they haven't addressed it or said anything because we haven't let them know that that's how we feel.
Dr. Tiffanie Henry:It is so important and so critical that if we have been hurt in past relationships, that we address it with said relationship and within said relationship. We address it with our partners. We address it when it happened, where it happened, and if let's say that relationship is long gone and passed, today, today's the day, today's the day that we address it. Maybe we don't go back in the past and dig up our exes okay, them some dry bones over there. Maybe we don't go dig all that stuff up, but maybe today we acknowledge those past hurts, things that hurt us in the past, things that we've been holding onto for years, things that have really really been a hurdle, a speed bump, a roadblock, a mountain that has kept us from God's best, that's kept us from the best relationships, that has really blocked our connectedness in this current relationship, or maybe even relationships in the past. What am I holding on to that keeps me stagnant, that keeps me stuck, that keeps me from getting the type of relationship that I know I desire and the one that I know that I deserve.
Dr. Tiffanie Henry:What is it, then? Write about what it is that you need in order to let go. Is it an apology? Is it reassurance? Is it for the person to be completely and totally out of your life, with no contact? Is it a commitment to not do it again? Is it a commitment to go to therapy? Is it to know that? Is it enough to know that the person is removed from whatever the situation was that led to them hurting you? Is that enough? What do you need? What do you need? What do you need? Really, think about that. What would make it easy for you to let this go? What would help you let this go? Is it therapy? Is it talking to somebody about it? Is it finally confronting the person that hurt you? Maybe they are still in your life and you've just been holding onto this and they have no idea about the pain that you're in. What is it that you need to do? Write that down All right, day 13.
Dr. Tiffanie Henry:For some of you, this is going to be easy ones. For a lot of you, this is going to be hard, and I'll go back to what I said earlier on one of the previous days if it gets to be too much. No, I said this on the intro. This is on the intro about how to prepare for the podcast or for not for the podcast, for the, for the challenge. If you're part of this challenge, you got some steps, some tips and tricks in the portal, under the introduction section, that will help you to prepare, and one of the things that I said in there is if it is challenging for you, step away, give yourself some some grace, allow yourself to have a minute or two to step away from the work, but please, please, come back to it. This one's important. You're going to want to finish this one because we have other things to do.
Dr. Tiffanie Henry:We still got Ooh what, 17 more days of this challenge and number 13,. You need to finish it. Okay, we got work to do girls. We got work to do girls. We got work to do ladies. We got a little work to do women. Hey, you guys can do this. I know you can write with love and admiration. I bid you adieu. I hope you have a wonderful, wonderful, fantastic rest of the day. Bye.
